When my mother was in her early 20′s she had her first Clairvoyant Vision. She was watching TV, and suddenly, the image on the screen changed. She saw her one true love making love to another woman in his apartment.
Being the middle of the day, this did not make sense. He should have been in his office. She picked up her keys, got in a cab, and went to his apartment. Using her key, she opened the door, found it was true. Her lover and mistress pathetically trying to cover themselves with sheets while her hear broke in two.
After that, she denied her Gift as much as possible. She was afraid of what she would see.
But, the Gift refused to go away.
All mothers have eyes in the back of their heads. mother just had a third. Growing up, I got away with nothing. You did not mess with mama, she knew what you were really doing. A midnight vision during a hurricane of my father drowning saved his life when I was a child. Her warning not to go to a teen party once saved my life.
She was never afraid of Ghost. We both saw them. For years, we lived with a Spirit, a lady named Katherine. My mother was very comfortable with her apparition strolling though the living room. She would simply say in a friendly voice, “Oh, Katherine is here.”
At nine, I was petrified. I would run to hide under the bed, shaking.
My mother would come over, lift up the lift up the bed skirt and say: “What’s wrong, are afraid of the little Ghosty-Wosty?” This was her way of teaching me not to be afraid of what I saw.
We had a very intimidating male Spirit who was very come around a few years later. I had learned not to be afraid, but, this one was menacing. He scared me in death, and I’m sure she would have in life.
One night as mother was cooking in the kitchen and he appeared right next to her. Without missing a beat, she says: “Look, my feet hurt, I am trying to make dinner, finish cleaning the house and explain math to this kid before bed time! NOW GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN BEFORE I…” And she lifted the cast iron skillet in her hand over his head.
We never saw him again.
There was no one like mom. She raised me single handedly; blood, sweat and tears. She was strong and kind.. Part Mohawk warrior, all woman, and the biggest heart heart you will ever find….she would cry for the sorrow of strangers. She thought for herself and always did things her own way. She always grew where the wind blew her, and made something beautiful where ever she landed. Like a wild flower.
My mother has an extraordinary relationship with cats. Anytime she moved, or, even went camping, a stray cat would show up and she would adopt it. She never turned a cat away, no matter how mangy, how sick, or how wild. I grew up in a house with 19 cats and one parakeet.
I lost her a few years ago.
When she decided to cross over, she had been in the hospital for a few days with pneumonia. She called me one morning and said: “Michelle, I see cats.”
“Cats?”
“Are they scary, mom? Did you tell the doctors?”
“No, they are not scary! They are cats! If I tell the doctors they will think I am crazy. Michelle, Im not crazy, I am dying.”
She passed a few hours later. They say your loved ones come for you when you are getting ready to pass. I think for my mom, the cats came first.
That still makes me smile.
She was like no on else. She refused a priest at her funeral. She thought we all had the ability to talk to God. I had the ceremony by a pagoda, in the grass. We sat in a circle and told stories. I played her favorite songs, we laughed and cried. We did it in a way she would have liked.
Instead of ashes, I gave everyone a packet of wild flower seeds to scatter when they came across a place that needed some of her beauty in the world.
Your Mother: Love her, hate her, refuse to speak to her, it does not matter.
The day will come when you will realize this woman had a stronger impact on you than anyone else, for good, or ill.
By no means want to give the impression that my mother and I had the perfect relationship. There were times when the phone rang, and I thought,” Oh, God, its HER again!”
There were times when the phone rang and I thought: “Great. Its Jerry Springer. Someone told him about us!”
But, even though Great Spirit does give all mothers eyes in the back of their heads, he does not make any into a Saint upon giving birth. They have the same problems before, and sometimes even more, after we enter their lives.
Who they are when you are born is no reflection upon YOU, not even how HOW MUCH THEY LOVE YOU. If they were selfish, mean, cold, or abusive before you came along…they learned those things from the pain of life. We learn these things from fear and pain.
No one gave them a Halo when you, as a perfect infant were placed in their arms. You were the only one in the room with a Halo.
But, please, if you can, forgive them for being human, for being wrong, for having too many problems, say something nice, do something nice. Even if, just for this one day.
Because when they are gone, you are the one who will live with that memories, and the legacy. Make as many good memories as you can. Forgive all you can. The more black stuff take out of our hearts, the more room there is for pretty colors, and pretty thoughts.
No, it will not make her perfect. And, it probably will not make it better. But, one day you will wake up, and be able to say: “I TRIED.” And, that, more than her legacy, will define who you are.
Maybe those colors won’t be for her….but, they will be there for someone else who will love you the way you always wanted to be loved.
I will be gone for a few hours this weekend to scatter wild flower seeds.
Many Blessings,
Madea-Michelle
